Why I Don't Write Smut as an Ex-Spice Writer.

Like many readers, I was introduced to smut at a very young age through a free writer app that’s become popular over the last few years. Growing up the way I did, I didn’t see anything wrong with it, and by my late teens I was a die-hard smut reader. In fact, there were times I left reviews on books about how much I loved them, BUT how they would’ve been better with a little s*x. It even got to the point that I’d skip the actual plot just to find the next spicy scene.

And though I wasn’t ready to admit it at the time, I now know it ruined the childlike wonder that inspired me in the first place.

And just like my love for art and reading, my writing came to me at a time when I was exceptionally vulnerable, and as my addiction—yes, addiction—to smut grew, my writing began to mimic it. I thought, surely no one would read my work if it didn’t have spice. I mean, we’ve all heard the saying, “Sex sells.”

So while reading smut began to poison my mind and damage my relationships with both God and my wonderful husband, it also began to twist the calling God put on my heart. And though it never felt natural, I ignored the conviction and discernment and kept fighting the battle of pleasing the world while trying to honor God.

A war no one has ever won.

I can’t recall exactly when He changed my heart with reading smut, but I began to “skip the spice” and realized that such books lacked the genuine storytelling that I originally fell in love with. And true to His nature, a week away from publishing a smutty dark romance, God increased my cold feet with such intensity that the only way to describe it is “divine intervention”. And after a rather eventful fasting experience (read my article “How I got the idea for TBAD” for more details), God radically changed not only the type of stories I write, but my views on spice altogether. 

It took years for me to rid my writing of any spice, innuendos, or undertones that defined my earlier works. I dove into the stories that made me fall in love with writing in the first place: Spiderwick, which comes to mind anytime I see leaves dancing in the wind; The Mysterious Benedict Society and Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events, which made me feel a little more normal; Harry Potter, of course; Jules Verne, who helped me learn the spirit of adventure; and my favorite classics, Great Expectations by Charles Dickens and The Most Dangerous Game by Ernest Hemingway.

Now, after years, I can finally say I am free of the chains that once weighed down my work. I can also enjoy the true nature of fantasy and authorship. And I will never stop advocating for how damaging smut can be for both children and adults. It darkens one's spirit and mental health, and harms relationships—intimate and otherwise. In my opinion, it has no place in writing. And certainly no place in the reach of children.

If you agree, let’s support each other! Always feel free to reach out, and I’d happily support anyone who advocates for the same. In the meantime, if you’d like to get to know me more, check out the blurb for To Be a Divine, my new adult romantasy inspired by biblical lore that features reluctant heroes, prophecies, and forbidden romance. 

Eighteen years ago, Gabriella killed her father. 

After spending years believing she was crazy, the last thing haunted introvert Gabriella Sinclair expects is to discover that the realm from her visions is real. Especially after spending her life on the run with divine powers she can’t control. 

But just as Gabriella’s life begins to feel semi-normal after finding work at a nightclub in the lower slums of New NYC, a chance encounter with a fear-possessed woman and a pointy-eared stranger puts her in the crosshairs of an assassin and lands Gabriella in a strangely familiar world. 

Nadaari, a realm of fae once protected by the great drakos, now faces extinction. Its guardians are being hunted by Chaos, a dark fae who wishes to seize their power in order to bring ruin to the four high realms. Unable to return home, Gabriella quickly learns her arrival leads to the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy, and she is forced to navigate a series of challenges: a dangerous game of friendship with an impulsive demon; the agents of Chaos who will stop at nothing to end the prophecy; the malevolent being who terrorizes her visions and spreads paralyzing fear throughout the land; and the choice she must make between two forbidden men of power.

With the fate of the four high realms now lying in her hands, Gabriella must not fail. For if Nadaari falls, the rest of the realms will surely follow.