Hyperphantasia and How it Affects Creative Life.

If you read my article Hyperphantasia and How it Affects My Writing, then you’re already aware of what Hyperphantasia is. If you haven’t, I suggest you do! It really sums things up. 

In short, Hyperphantasia—or full-censory cinema—is the ability to see, smell, taste, and feel things as though they’re right in front of you with just a single thought. And those who have it excel in creative spaces. This ability has changed my life in so many wonderful ways, but it has also made it incredibly difficult. In this article I will share how it affects not only my daily life, but also my ability to enjoy music, cinema, and everyone’s favorite—books. 

Growing up “different” in the midwest isn’t easy, especially when your life at home is already a struggle. I was a kid who lived in her head and who could only pay attention with a sketchbook in her lap. It protected me from the scary world, but it also isolated me from friends and family. Thank God I eventually found my people, but much like Gabriella in To Be a Divine, I was still so clearly different. It kind of felt like being the Flash (my husband’s favorite) or Superman. I had this secret ability that was far too complicated to explain to anyone. 

And it wasn’t only my relationships that Hyperphantasia influenced. It also changed my ability to enjoy other forms of art. 

From a young age, I struggled with understanding my emotions. And nothing helped me more than music. Whatever mood I was in, I could listen to music that matched, and it would help me understand what I was feeling when I couldn’t find the words. But as I got older and began to understand emotions, the music began to influence me. With hyperphantasia, music can make you feel intense emotions. I would be the happiest person in the world, and then a song with angry undertones would come on, bringing images or memories, and suddenly I was fuming. It wasn’t until I decided to cut secular music in 2023 that I finally understood just how much it affected me. 

Similarly, Hyperphantasia also affects how I watch TV. For years my poor husband would get so wrapped up in a show with me, and I’d stop watching halfway through. Because of how my brain works, I would shut off a show and continue to live in it until I turned it on again, and it completely ruined things! Think of it like this: there are alternate endings of the same show. You watch the beginning, shut it off, and then watch the first ending. It’s full-sensory. You feel, touch, and smell everything, and the ending is exactly how you wanted. Then you start watching the second ending, and it’s dull in comparison. 

Flat. 

Hyperphantasia also makes finishing books really difficult because if a book doesn’t feed my senses the way I need it to, if there isn’t enough description to pull me into a story, then I feel disconnected and bored. Or when the flow shifts, it’s like pushing pause on the tv. There was a time about two years ago when I would force myself to finish a book because I thought it was unfair to hold writers to such a standard. Especially when only 2-5% of the population probably views things the way I do, but then someone told me about DNF-ing. 

How did I never know you could just put something down and not pick it back up?

Since then, probably 50% of the books I read are DNF. And that is not to say it’s a fault of the author, it’s just not sensory enough. Like how babies prefer those books with the bumps and grooves, or how some people can’t stand “soft” things if they feel like a cotton ball rather than silk fur (aka, me again). It’s a preference. Sometimes I wish I could enjoy every book, but I’ve grown accustomed to stories being so much more than words on a page that it feels impossible to step back and realize that’s all they are. 

That being said, there are times when I pick up a book, traditional or indie, and it makes me feel as though I’ve stepped through the wardrobe. And I’d put down a thousand books just to find one that gives me that feeling of magic. 

Keep an eye out for a post with book recommendations that feed the senses. I’ll try to get it up soon!